It’s official – my ticket is purchased, and my calendar is marked for the San Diego Rock ‘N’ Roll half marathon on May 31 st , 2020!!
It’s been a while since I’ve run this distance – or any, for that matter and I honestly didn’t think I cared to run this much again.
But then, Christmas came and I was catching up with my cousin who has been killing it with all of the races she’s been doing over the past couple of years and said she’d make this race her first full marathon! So, long story short, she was a big part of getting me inspired and excited about running all over again.
I was honestly feeling pretty burnt out on running for a long time after making the hard to decision to quit the cross country team in 2016. After 7 life-changing years of competing, I hung up my racing spikes in exchange for my first pair of slacks as I entered the “real world” as a bank teller.
While I was sad that this chapter of my life had ended, I was relieved at the same time. I had gotten burnt out on balancing school, my job, and those 7 am practices that left me feeling exhausted by the end of track season.
Once I had graduated (yay!) and finally hard more free time to run on my own terms, the familiar stress I often felt when competing against myself and others started to creep in again. I didn’t know how to run for fun!
Running also made me think of how unhealthy I felt at the end of every track season as I struggled to keep up with the calories I needed to eat to offset what I had burned. I lost so much weight that, at one point, I could even see my rib cage sticking out above my chest and my collar bones were way too prominent.
And besides, looking skinny wasn’t “in” anyway, I had decided. While this may sound stupid, I think all women, “skinny” or not, have been subject to internalizing the other more booty-licious women posing on Instagram and suddenly don’t feel that our bodies are enough.
While I know that being told that you’re too skinny is so NOT the same thing as being called fat, the pressure to have a sexy body is real! So, long story short, I decided to take a break from what I really love to try to attain the body I thought I needed to have.
Although I love the gym and still plan to do some squats every now and then, I realized that I became way too consumed by all the fit girls I wanted to be like on Instagram (who, by the way, I am not hating on – if you’ve got it, you absolutely deserve to flaunt it!).
So, instead of focusing on how I look – which only makes me feel insecure about myself as I compare my body to other women’s bodies – I’m going to focus on what I’ve always done; which is run alongside other women as we support each other in our goals and while staying in my own lane. That is, I will only compare myself – my body, my times, and my pace – against my own measurements from what they were before.
I will also use this half marathon (which, by the way, will be my 3rd half and my second time running the San Diego Rock And Roll half in particular) as further reinforcement in achieving my other goals for 2020! This means I have even more of a reason to drink less alcohol, eat more food that will properly fuel my body and support my training, get more sleep and drink. more. Water!
Plus, I have all of you to keep my accountable since I’ll be tracking my progress on the blog as I navigate through the ever-familiar highs and lows that come with marathon training!
Do you have any fitness goals you want to accomplish in 2020?